Post by Zelda on Dec 25, 2010 4:20:30 GMT -5
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house...
My gift to Sarah/Elite/Sarin/everyone because I'm lazy. xDDD This would only make sense to a few people, though. ><;;
Prepare for utter crackiness/insanity/bad 3 AM writing. xDD
My gift to Sarah/Elite/Sarin/everyone because I'm lazy. xDDD This would only make sense to a few people, though. ><;;
Prepare for utter crackiness/insanity/bad 3 AM writing. xDD
Once upon a time, there was a happy little family. There was a mother, father, and an adorable little daughter (and some other children running around, but they weren’t as cute as that particular girl). The mother was beautiful, smart, but also a bit crazy, and her name was Sarah. Her husband was rather lazy but also very loveable (and his tummy was soft) and loved football, and his name was Josh. The child of theirs in question, Zelda, inherited traits of each, to their delight and horror. She was intelligent, but a sloth occasionally, and of course the prettiest (and favorite) of all Josh’s daughters because she would watch football and cook for him.
-
The pair watched TV, bundled in thick winter coats even though they were inside. Sarah insisted it was cheaper than turning on the heat and just as effective, to the household’s chagrin. Even the animals daren’t leave their hiding places, be it the pantry with Sarin, under Zelda’s bed, or curled up in a random bed. Little flakes of snow fell lazily outside, but the father-daughter duo’s eyes were glued to the screen.
“No, no, no, NO!” the man shouted, causing the poor teenager beside him to jump out of her seat. He was completely oblivious to his startling her, growling and glaring at the television as if it were the reason the opposing team scored a touchdown. Josh sighed and looked down at the empty bowl of popcorn in his lap then slowly dragged the to his daughter. “Zeldaaaa….won’t you make your daddy some popcorn?”
The brunette was not going to buy that puppy dog face of his this time, she wouldn’t let him take advantage of her again. She huffed and crossed her arms, pretending to watch the game, but stole little glances at his unrelenting pout. Eventually she gave in, as he knew she would, and hoisted herself to her feet in a very reluctant manner. “Fine,” Zelda sighed, shuffling into the kitchen.
She opened the cupboard where the family stash of popcorn was located and was nearly surprised out of her skin again. A pair of eyes blinked out at her from the small space and a girl crawled out, stretching in a strikingly feline fashion. As quickly as she appeared, she left, however, probably to either listen to Japanese music in another confined space.
“Sarin…” she half-sighed, half-growled to herself with a shrug. Zelda should have expected something like that; this was her family she was talking about, after all. She worriedly recalled that the last time her sister had popped up randomly, pure and utter chaos had ensued, involving pancakes, a smoke bomb, and showering. She shuddered, hoping Christmas would be somewhat normal before proceeding to make the popcorn.
-
Three popped bags of popcorn later, the game was still dragging on into overtime. Zelda liked football, but at that point it was just tedious. She checked the clock quickly, 11:13. This game better end soon…if we don’t get to bed by midnight, Finland won’t give us presents! The thought made her entire face drop, and suddenly, she was cheering louder than she had the entire game. The sooner it was over, the sooner they could leave and the sooner Santa could come.
Josh raised a suspicious eyebrow at his daughter’s impromptu fervor with the television, but pushed the confusion away when he noticed their team tearing down the field. More excited yelling ensued, met by some not-so enthusiastic ones from Sarah and his other housemates.
“YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYEAH!” he got to his feet and pumped his fist victoriously and Zelda clapped with a relieved smile. As long as there were no distractions, there would be enough time to coax the other night owls that were her family to bed.
As if on cue, someone burst through a nearby door, all but sending it crashing to the ground. “GOALLLL!!!” the girl shouted, jumping in front of the television. The football-loving man shot her an irritated glare, less for breaking their door and screaming at the top of her lungs, and more for getting soccer and football mixed up. Zelda’s hand fluttered to her chest; this was the third time her heart had stopped that evening.
“Elite! What are you doing here?!” she snapped once her blood began circulating again, “It’s almost midnight!”
“No, it’s only 8:45!” Elite replied with a little blink, furrowing her brow. “Wait…what time zone am I in--?”
She was cut off by a loud, sudden banging on the roof. Zelda shrieked and promptly spazzed. OH MY GOD HE’S EARLY. She shoved her friend into the closet she had leapt from and covered Josh with a blanket, hoping Finland would mistake the now sleeping man for a bundle of blankets or something. As for herself, she dove beneath the coffee table by the fireplace, bracing herself and bracing herself for the red suit that would soon appear.
“Zelda! Why am I in a closet?!” The muffled and thoroughly confused voice of Elite pierced the brief silence, as did a sharp snore from her father. “I’LL BURN ALL OF YOUR YAOI PICTURES IF YOU DON’T LET ME OUT NOW!”
At the sound of the word ‘yaoi,’ the sleeping giant shot up. “I have no idea what she’s talking about.” Zelda lied quickly from her hiding spot. Her eyes flicked tentatively to the hearth and then back to Josh. “Dad, hide under the covers so Santa will come, quick!”
Instead, he produced a baseball bat from the couch cushions and stood, smacking it in his hand menacingly. Josh didn’t believe it was Santa Claus at all, but a male friend of Zelda’s trying to get inside his house. He sauntered up to the unlit fireplace and waited for his prey to slip down the chimney, ready and willing to beat him senseless.
“Dad! What are you doing?!”
“That little punk thinks he can get to my daughter? I don’t think so…” he muttered to himself, his steely gaze set and unwavering.
“MOM! Dad’s gonna kill Santa!” Zelda called in hopes of summoning the frightening mother figure. A visible shudder went down her father’s spine.
The nightgown-clad woman appeared at the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips. “JOSHUA. Put down that bat right now!”
Her barked order had apparently scared Santa out of even coming down the chimney at all as the gifts were tossed hastily down the chimney.
The sound of sleigh bells faded quickly into the distance as everyone else crept from their corners of the house to investigate the strange noises. At the sight of the presents, the children and animals of the house were a stampede, ripping open packages regardless of the owner of the gift. And so, the usual chaos ensued. That year’s Christmas was only a bit more insane than the last, but it certainly won’t be the most.
P.S. Someone should probably let Elite out of that closet soon…
-
The pair watched TV, bundled in thick winter coats even though they were inside. Sarah insisted it was cheaper than turning on the heat and just as effective, to the household’s chagrin. Even the animals daren’t leave their hiding places, be it the pantry with Sarin, under Zelda’s bed, or curled up in a random bed. Little flakes of snow fell lazily outside, but the father-daughter duo’s eyes were glued to the screen.
“No, no, no, NO!” the man shouted, causing the poor teenager beside him to jump out of her seat. He was completely oblivious to his startling her, growling and glaring at the television as if it were the reason the opposing team scored a touchdown. Josh sighed and looked down at the empty bowl of popcorn in his lap then slowly dragged the to his daughter. “Zeldaaaa….won’t you make your daddy some popcorn?”
The brunette was not going to buy that puppy dog face of his this time, she wouldn’t let him take advantage of her again. She huffed and crossed her arms, pretending to watch the game, but stole little glances at his unrelenting pout. Eventually she gave in, as he knew she would, and hoisted herself to her feet in a very reluctant manner. “Fine,” Zelda sighed, shuffling into the kitchen.
She opened the cupboard where the family stash of popcorn was located and was nearly surprised out of her skin again. A pair of eyes blinked out at her from the small space and a girl crawled out, stretching in a strikingly feline fashion. As quickly as she appeared, she left, however, probably to either listen to Japanese music in another confined space.
“Sarin…” she half-sighed, half-growled to herself with a shrug. Zelda should have expected something like that; this was her family she was talking about, after all. She worriedly recalled that the last time her sister had popped up randomly, pure and utter chaos had ensued, involving pancakes, a smoke bomb, and showering. She shuddered, hoping Christmas would be somewhat normal before proceeding to make the popcorn.
-
Three popped bags of popcorn later, the game was still dragging on into overtime. Zelda liked football, but at that point it was just tedious. She checked the clock quickly, 11:13. This game better end soon…if we don’t get to bed by midnight, Finland won’t give us presents! The thought made her entire face drop, and suddenly, she was cheering louder than she had the entire game. The sooner it was over, the sooner they could leave and the sooner Santa could come.
Josh raised a suspicious eyebrow at his daughter’s impromptu fervor with the television, but pushed the confusion away when he noticed their team tearing down the field. More excited yelling ensued, met by some not-so enthusiastic ones from Sarah and his other housemates.
“YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYEAH!” he got to his feet and pumped his fist victoriously and Zelda clapped with a relieved smile. As long as there were no distractions, there would be enough time to coax the other night owls that were her family to bed.
As if on cue, someone burst through a nearby door, all but sending it crashing to the ground. “GOALLLL!!!” the girl shouted, jumping in front of the television. The football-loving man shot her an irritated glare, less for breaking their door and screaming at the top of her lungs, and more for getting soccer and football mixed up. Zelda’s hand fluttered to her chest; this was the third time her heart had stopped that evening.
“Elite! What are you doing here?!” she snapped once her blood began circulating again, “It’s almost midnight!”
“No, it’s only 8:45!” Elite replied with a little blink, furrowing her brow. “Wait…what time zone am I in--?”
She was cut off by a loud, sudden banging on the roof. Zelda shrieked and promptly spazzed. OH MY GOD HE’S EARLY. She shoved her friend into the closet she had leapt from and covered Josh with a blanket, hoping Finland would mistake the now sleeping man for a bundle of blankets or something. As for herself, she dove beneath the coffee table by the fireplace, bracing herself and bracing herself for the red suit that would soon appear.
“Zelda! Why am I in a closet?!” The muffled and thoroughly confused voice of Elite pierced the brief silence, as did a sharp snore from her father. “I’LL BURN ALL OF YOUR YAOI PICTURES IF YOU DON’T LET ME OUT NOW!”
At the sound of the word ‘yaoi,’ the sleeping giant shot up. “I have no idea what she’s talking about.” Zelda lied quickly from her hiding spot. Her eyes flicked tentatively to the hearth and then back to Josh. “Dad, hide under the covers so Santa will come, quick!”
Instead, he produced a baseball bat from the couch cushions and stood, smacking it in his hand menacingly. Josh didn’t believe it was Santa Claus at all, but a male friend of Zelda’s trying to get inside his house. He sauntered up to the unlit fireplace and waited for his prey to slip down the chimney, ready and willing to beat him senseless.
“Dad! What are you doing?!”
“That little punk thinks he can get to my daughter? I don’t think so…” he muttered to himself, his steely gaze set and unwavering.
“MOM! Dad’s gonna kill Santa!” Zelda called in hopes of summoning the frightening mother figure. A visible shudder went down her father’s spine.
The nightgown-clad woman appeared at the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips. “JOSHUA. Put down that bat right now!”
Her barked order had apparently scared Santa out of even coming down the chimney at all as the gifts were tossed hastily down the chimney.
The sound of sleigh bells faded quickly into the distance as everyone else crept from their corners of the house to investigate the strange noises. At the sight of the presents, the children and animals of the house were a stampede, ripping open packages regardless of the owner of the gift. And so, the usual chaos ensued. That year’s Christmas was only a bit more insane than the last, but it certainly won’t be the most.
P.S. Someone should probably let Elite out of that closet soon…
